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Post great dialogue or quotes from movies. Please state the movie, actor/character and the quote.

Sexy Beast, Ben Kingsley as DON.
"I fucked Jackie. Dirty cow. During what we were doing, she tried to stick her finger up my bum. I nearly hit the roof, you can imagine. I mean, what have you got to think of a woman who'd want to do that? "

A few lines from the beginning of Full Metal Jacket by R. Lee Ermey as Gnnry Sgt Hartman
"If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian ****. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on *******, *****, **** or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?"

My personal Fav:
" I bet you're the kind of guy that would **** a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you."

"It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. "

"Holy dog ****. Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?"
 

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Alexander Supertramp
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"we gotta get Clyde laid!"

or something along those lines. I wanna say it was in Blazing Saddles, but I can't remember.

edit: Clyde was an orangutan.
 

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I ams not a normal human
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1,204 Posts
"You're not wrong, Walter, you're just an asshole."

"That's what I love about them high-school girls: I get older, they stay the same age."

"Hey, Beavis. I just figured something out. This sucks."

"He hates these cans. Stay away from the cans!"

"It's mostly Maui Wowie, but it's got some Labrador in it."

"And for my next impression, Jesse Owens."
 

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brontosaurus
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Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by the weiner.
 

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"That was pillow talk, baby!" Bruce Campbell Army of Darkness
 

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Sicilians are great liars. The best in the world. I'm Sicilian. My father was the world heavy-weight champion of Sicilian liars. From growing up with him I learned the pantomime. There are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give himself away. A guys got seventeen pantomimes. A woman's got twenty, but a guy's got seventeen... but, if you know them, like you know your own face, they beat lie detectors all to hell. Now, what we got here is a little game of show and tell. You don't wanna show me nothin', but you're tellin me everything. I know you know where they are, so tell me before I do some damage you won't walk away from.
 

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Sicilians are great liars. The best in the world. I'm Sicilian. My father was the world heavy-weight champion of Sicilian liars. From growing up with him I learned the pantomime. There are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give himself away. A guys got seventeen pantomimes. A woman's got twenty, but a guy's got seventeen... but, if you know them, like you know your own face, they beat lie detectors all to hell. Now, what we got here is a little game of show and tell. You don't wanna show me nothin', but you're tellin me everything. I know you know where they are, so tell me before I do some damage you won't walk away from.
My favourite movie. That scene is awesome.
 

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I'm a little teapot
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"OK. We'll take the [redacted] and the [redacted], but we don't want no Irish."
I was going to use that exact quote but thought "Hmm will using those two words get me another temp ban?"

So I didn't.

Moving on:
"Wire the Main Office. Tell them I said *Boink* OW!"
 
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