Mufasa in Training
Speaking of which: now getting to rip my hair out because my side of the family won't make plans for Christmas...
I feel this. My parents will be here this Friday to Wednesday. When asking about what they want to do, I’m pretty much getting whatever, maybe see some Christmas lights, and go out for a nice seafood dinner. Guess they should have come for 2 days instead...Speaking of which: now getting to rip my hair out because my side of the family won't make plans for Christmas...
Ight. Imma head out.
My problem is that I will be traveling to see my family, but they can't even decide when they want everyone to be there. Meanwhile my wife and I's best friends are wanting to get together and I have to say "I don't know" because I don't know what my family wants to do, and they're never in a hurry to make an actual plan. Don't want to say F*** em because we didn't get together at Thanksgiving, but they don't understand that we can't just pick up and go whenever...it's a 4hr trip across the state.I feel this. My parents will be here this Friday to Wednesday. When asking about what they want to do, I’m pretty much getting whatever, maybe see some Christmas lights, and go out for a nice seafood dinner. Guess they should have come for 2 days instead...
I'll start by saying that's unfortunate and I hope your day gets better.Random thought segue. I was restocking the refrigerator with soda at work and one of the sodas fell out of the plastic 6 soda holder. It hits the carpeted floor, no big deal. Then as I am bending down to pick it up, right as I am about to touch it, it bursts at the seams and douces me, the wall, door, verticals, floor... By the time the fountain stopped the can was empty. My dress shirt, pants, shoes and socks are now squishy. Today is not shaping up as planned.
This is fair given your perspective. My in-person friends that have met us both are slightly more optimistic. Like I said earlier; I believe therapy could help us massively.Jake I think everyone is focusing on your part in this because we know you and are comfortable criticizing you.
I'll just come out and say it
You sound very unhappy and it sounds like she is not a great partner, whether that's reality or just how you present it is in my opinion irrelevant. It sounds like a relationship that's doomed to fail. I'm not sure if that's what you want to hear, or what, but if you were a close personal friend I'd be telling you to get out. We're not close like that tho, and I'm not comfortable speaking that plainly as I am sure no one else is either.
I'm saying it now though because it seems like that's what you're looking for.
So here we are
This is accurate.It sounds like y’all lack communication and compromise and have built some weird dependencies. Good luck.
Bingo, force the issueThat's fine. Make their plans for them and if they don't like it they'll be forced to make a different decision.
Yeah... maybe examine why you got married in the first place. Agree on the therapy part because it sounds like expectations need to be laid out in a constructive manner. Regardless, we're all pulling you for JakeI'll just come out and say it
Thanks, man. Genuinely.Regardless, we're all pulling you for Jake
where tf is my relationship's carburetor?! SOMEONE GET ME A REBIULD KIT ?(Disregard your usual experience with maintenance projects)
Communication is what I struggle with. I'm hoping a third party will be able to help me articulate my thoughts to her and offer suggestions on how we can both come to compromises and build each others strengths.Therapy helps you figure out how to communicate, isn’t going to change who she is, or who you are.
“People” seem wired to try to maintain status quo, whether that’s employment at a particular job, involvement in a relationship, or even the diet you maintain. That’s fine, but there’s an opportunity cost. Sometimes it really is better to face uncertainty and do something different, than it is to be “comfortable” in your now.
But what do I know - Im not married, have lived in 3 different states since I graduated college, and have had 6 different jobs (4 different companies) in my decade of professional experience. In my mind, whatever I’m doing today is leading me toward tomorrow, so I better like it.